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Author Archive for varsityoptimism

Previewing the ‘08 Finals, by the book

ESPN: You thought every angle had been covered for this incredible, throwback Lakers-Celtics Finals? Well, here’s a new one: For the first time in NBA history, a team (in this case, the Lakers) might win a championship a few years after its coach (Phil Jackson) wrote a first-person book (”The Last Season”) about a season (2003-04) in which he repeatedly skewered his former and current best player (in this case, Kobe Bryant).

Everyone forgets “The Last Season” because the once-dysfunctional Lakers did a fair share of healing since its 2004 release. The book remains an eye-opening first-person account of a particularly arduous Lakers season that ended with a 2004 Finals collapse and, eventually, both Shaquille O’Neal and Jackson leaving the team. It’s also a damning critique of the player and person Kobe used to be before he started sharing the basketball, buying a few team dinners, handing out monogrammed watches and pretending to laugh at Luke Walton’s jokes. We’re sure Selfish Kobe is gone, right? I mean, we’re positive? We’re sure he’s not going to trickle out during the Finals?

Since it’s such a great book and all, in lieu of handing out pre-Finals awards as a preview, I thought we’d hand out actual passages written by Jackson in “The Last Season” (in bold) to the crucial players, themes, story lines and characters in the 2008 Finals. Without further ado …

1. “Last spring, during a particularly acrimonious team meeting, Rick Fox complained to Kobe and Shaq. ‘The thing that hurts about this season,’ Fox said, ‘is that you have both acted like you’re apart from us, and that we’re not any good.’ … Shaq, clearly affected, began to respond when Kobe cut him off. ‘Quit your crying,’ Kobe said. I then jumped in. ‘Kobe, you’re as much to blame as Shaq is, if not more.’ ”

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TLN’s Finals Preview: Lakers vs. Celtics [Game 1]

Varstiyoptimism’s Pre-NBA Finals Routine -

Step A: Wake up in a cold sweat screaming and cursing the names of Kevin McHale, John Havlicek and Danny Ainge.

Step B: Pace around bedroom screaming at and punching anything green.

Step C: Marinate in ESPN Classic’s nonstop NBA Finals marathon.

Step D: Repeat Step B.

Step E: Pinch self to see if this Lakers/Celtics matchup is real.

Step F: Look at calendar to see if it is Thursday yet (if calendar is green, repeat steps B and D).

Step G: Fall asleep to the sweet sights of the Lakers in 1985 hoisting up the trophy on that parquet floor.

Now, after nearly one week of that grueling and mentally draining schedule, the Finals (written in cursive) are here!

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A Little Secret Miracle

I fancy myself a lover of independent music. You know the type: whiny, literate, geeky dudes with jangly guitars and ill-fitting cardigans. The bittersweet truth of the current state of the ol’ indie rock is that it seems that every so often one of these bands breaks through. The secret gets out and all of the sudden you can buy the new Bright Eyes record at Target right next to Toby Keith and the Eagles Greatest Hits.

My first experience with this situation came in the autumn of 1995. My copy of No Doubt’s now legendary album Tragic Kingdom arrived at the local record shop. Six months later, No Doubt were megastars and I was the jerk trying to say, “I was first” to all my 8-year-old peers who could not get enough of that sublime album. That record was my little second grade secret miracle.

Apply this same scenario to movies, (Juno), comedians (Brian Regan) hot-actresses du jour (I had the BIGGEST crush on Scarlett Johansson when she appeared in Home Alone 3!).

Once the secret is out, it is out. And there is no way to hold onto the days when it was yours.

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TLN’s Playoff Preview: Lakers vs. Spurs [Game 4]

Watch this clip from Wet Hot American Summer.

It pretty much sums up what happened to the Lakers on Sunday evening. Cruising along these Western Conference Finals. Rumor had it that Jordan Farmar and Coby Karl were singing Kenny Loggins on the team charter. The Lakers were without a worry in the world.

Then they crashed into the defending champion Spurs who, somewhere between LAX and San Antonio, rediscovered the formula that has produced them four NBA titles in the last nine years.

It turns out that those visions of ascendancy were a tad bit premature.

As the Laker Nation wept for Pau’s seeming inability to finish around the basket, Lamar’s shoddy 2-11 performance and Kobe’s sabbatical from the free-throw line, what they forgot was the core tenant of professional sports: the other team has players and coaches too. And boy did their players show up for Game 3.

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TLN’s Playoff Preview: Lakers vs. Spurs [Game 1]

I wish I had started writing this pregame article in the third quarter of Game Six. It was a much simpler and quaint period in my life. The Lakers led by 19 points and all roads pointed to New Orleans. Five wide open Utah three-pointers and a by-the-skin-of-their-teeth three-point victory later, things still seemed okay. The Lakers were on their way to the Conference Finals for the first time since 2004.

Their opponent: to be determined. The worst part of the Lakers celebratory weekend was something they had zero control over: for the first time in the 2008 playoffs, the Hurrrrnets lost on their home court.

The crusty, wily, angry, scowling San Antonio Spurs, full of pride and gusto, exposed the young Hurrrnets and dashed their hopes of an inaugural voyage the Conference Finals and subsequently earned a trip to Los Angeles. A trip they had already packed for. The defending champion’s presumption and revelatory attitude reportedly yielded a night sleeping on the team charter plane rather than a Five Diamond Los Angeles hotel.

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Utah Jazz: The Most Disgusting Fans In The NBA

Bleacher Report: Philadelphia fans are known to be brutal. Throwing snow balls at Santa Claus, booing their franchise players, and cheering when opposing players get injured are just several infamous occasions in which the City of Brotherly Love didn’t live up to its name.

But that’s nothing compared to some of the disgusting fans in Salt Lake City, Utah.

Last season, Derek Fisher was a hero in Utah. His eleventh month old daughter, Tatum, had just been diagnosed with retinoblastoma, a rare type of eye cancer. She had needed an emergency three hour surgery and chemotherapy at New York Presbyterian Hospital.

Choosing to be with her during surgery, Fisher wasn’t sure he would be able to attend Game Two of the team’s second round series against the Golden State Warriors. Upon landing back in Salt Lake City following the surgery, Fisher got the news that Jazz starting point guard Deron Williams was in foul trouble and his backup, Dee Brown, was seriously injured during the early stages of the game. Fisher knew he had to be there for his team.

He arrived at the stadium during the third quarter and was given a standing ovation. Fans and players alike were showing him a lot of respect and it was a feel good moment as a sports fan. Fisher would later hit a game tying shot that would send the game into overtime where the Jazz defeated the Warriors.

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TLN’s Playoff Preview: Lakers vs. Jazz [Game 5]

I went to Utah for Game 3. What I saw frightened me. Amidst all the turnovers and missed opportunities I finally remembered what I had known all along: the Lakers are mortal.

As my friend Ryan and I approached closer and closer to home, I heard a song that basically summed up how I felt about the Lakers shortcomings and my subsequent departure from Salt Lake City.

For a second there I thought you disappeared.

It rains a lot this time of year.

And we both go together if one falls down.

I talk out loud like you’re still around.

No noo.

And I miss you.

I’m goin back home to the west coast.

I wish you would put yourself in my suitcase.

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EAT OUR NOISE!

Let’s face it. The Energy Solutions Arena knows how to intimidate. They are loud, obnoxious and downright deafening. AM570 KLAC is sponsoring a campaign to “Pump Up the Volume” in Staples Center.

There will be a giant card out in Star Plaza to sign and AM570 will be handing out mini-megaphones in order to PUMP UP THE VOLUME!

Listen to the clip below…